ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
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I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
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I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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