I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
