Texts From Last Night

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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Are we in a gay sports bar?

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  (775): Are we in a gay sports bar? http://tfl.nu/4qe8
  Replies (10) Good night (1119) Bad night (655)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"

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  (704): You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs" http://tfl.nu/7byd
  Replies (5) Good night (1198) Bad night (4318)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...

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  (770): He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose... http://tfl.nu/mrqu
  Replies (5) Good night (875) Bad night (4032)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard

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  (203): Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard http://tfl.nu/p7e3
  Replies (16) Good night (5139) Bad night (564)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now

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  (908): Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now http://tfl.nu/hukx
  Replies (10) Good night (5223) Bad night (1026)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!

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  (501): Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?! http://tfl.nu/d2jg
  Replies (5) Good night (858) Bad night (2351)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.

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  (313): He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings. http://tfl.nu/w72z
  Replies (6) Good night (2211) Bad night (853)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?

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  (765): is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible? http://tfl.nu/u49w
  Replies (14) Good night (588) Bad night (2098)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?

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  (+44): PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end? http://tfl.nu/1yv9
  Replies (4) Good night (1675) Bad night (491)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.

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  (434): We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them. http://tfl.nu/odfm
  Replies (4) Good night (1151) Bad night (482)
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  (818): View more from California

  Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."

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  (818): Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy." http://tfl.nu/kcv8
  Replies (2) Good night (1056) Bad night (404)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?

  (1-561): View more from Florida

  Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.

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  (561): Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache? (1-561): Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night. http://tfl.nu/sa3s
  Replies (2) Good night (696) Bad night (278)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION

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  (610): IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION http://tfl.nu/utlo
  Replies (2) Good night (717) Bad night (302)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm

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  (316): I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm http://tfl.nu/e7hi
  Replies (1) Good night (210) Bad night (381)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.

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  (306): He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger. http://tfl.nu/1jgc
  Replies (2) Good night (387) Bad night (213)

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