my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.