please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?