you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.