Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?

  (540): View more from Virginia

  you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (434): why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed? (540): you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets. http://tfl.nu/2g4o
  Replies (42) Good night (28967) Bad night (1683)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (951): Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already. http://tfl.nu/bhvw
  Replies (64) Good night (5078) Bad night (1007)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me http://tfl.nu/l4ts
  Replies (6) Good night (1208) Bad night (3540)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby" http://tfl.nu/pwve
  Replies (16) Good night (1443) Bad night (3616)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore http://tfl.nu/w95h
  Replies (20) Good night (5576) Bad night (1269)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs. http://tfl.nu/cddz
  Replies (9) Good night (5006) Bad night (1439)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I feel awful

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  Physically or morally

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): I feel awful (1-513): Physically or morally (513): Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances. http://tfl.nu/3wvv
  Replies (10) Good night (2702) Bad night (821)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta. http://tfl.nu/gtno
  Replies (12) Good night (676) Bad night (2536)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (763): My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home... http://tfl.nu/n3b5
  Replies (3) Good night (1671) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though http://tfl.nu/pek1
  Replies (2) Good night (1565) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"

  (416): View more from Toronto

  He was THIS close.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?" (416): He was THIS close. http://tfl.nu/s8nd
  Replies (12) Good night (1687) Bad night (987)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid http://tfl.nu/n6y8
  Replies (2) Good night (694) Bad night (730)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager. http://tfl.nu/fc01
  Replies (2) Good night (1127) Bad night (519)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird http://tfl.nu/xqlb
  Replies (2) Good night (409) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends. http://tfl.nu/6v2p
  Replies (6) Good night (347) Bad night (360)

Randomize