Texts From Last Night

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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Nice use of current day folklore

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  (952): I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur (612): Nice use of current day folklore http://tfl.nu/cnmj
  Replies (36) Good night (841) Bad night (2824)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.

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  (613): I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/nxz1
  Replies (35) Good night (12005) Bad night (1207)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised

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  (517): can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised http://tfl.nu/5ukp
  Replies (10) Good night (3912) Bad night (1310)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!

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  (317): My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA! http://tfl.nu/e6nv
  Replies (28) Good night (1600) Bad night (3799)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.

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  (954): I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day. http://tfl.nu/gtxx
  Replies (13) Good night (5234) Bad night (974)
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  (408): View more from California

  if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place

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  (408): if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place http://tfl.nu/15wd
  Replies (33) Good night (6032) Bad night (1388)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...

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  (850): i did the responsible thing and pissed myself... http://tfl.nu/5qb4
  Replies (6) Good night (1138) Bad night (2940)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.

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  (605): Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester. http://tfl.nu/t8vg
  Replies (9) Good night (2832) Bad night (1205)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??

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  (250): How do you get a black eye playing beer pong?? http://tfl.nu/dfu2
  Replies (9) Good night (2106) Bad night (949)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Stop drinking at work.

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  (402): I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit" (308): Stop drinking at work. http://tfl.nu/v2m5
  Replies (8) Good night (3552) Bad night (887)
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  (585): View more from New York

  She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.

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  (585): She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me. http://tfl.nu/s5wp
  Replies (3) Good night (512) Bad night (839)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.

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  (330): just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue. http://tfl.nu/y6r9
  Replies (4) Good night (621) Bad night (538)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat

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  (703): What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat http://tfl.nu/4o67
  Replies (2) Good night (255) Bad night (461)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.

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  (804): Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win. http://tfl.nu/vse3
  Replies (1) Good night (642) Bad night (204)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome

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  (713): I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome http://tfl.nu/qeoi
  Replies (7) Good night (1162) Bad night (237)

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