you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother