i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Everyone says I win the strip club
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
If I die, sorry about rent.