please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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