OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
