make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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