Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize