We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Plural? Please tell.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.