it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.