I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.