It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize