And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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