1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder