plz talk dirty to me
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
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we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.