i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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