so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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