just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
