Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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