I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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