Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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