I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Life is so much better after having sex.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
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