At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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