I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
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I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
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So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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