I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
