There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
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Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS