Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration