perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!