just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
look no pants
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
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whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
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I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?