Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
