we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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