Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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