god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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