I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
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Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
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Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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