i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
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I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
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I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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