i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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