Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.