thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it