wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize