i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
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