I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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