dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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