i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
