lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
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Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
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I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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