so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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