He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
