so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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