We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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