how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
