Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses