Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
