Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON