so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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