I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.