hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize