Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
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She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
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I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.