Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy