Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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