When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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