just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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