i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
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I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
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i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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