Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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