ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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