I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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