No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
